Finally got down to removing those overdue polish on my toenails, and as usual, looking forward to my monthly visit to the pedicurist. The only therapy to keep me sane. And a good excuse to look down in train rides, when you just wanna avoid looking at some 'eye-staring minahs with i-just-got-the-shock-of-my-life drawn eyebrows'. Erk.

Which shows a clear picture of how preoccupied I have been lately. Since Mom and Dad flew off to Dubai, responsibilities have never been higher. The things that's usually done by Mum now is shared equally with Erika for us to fulfill - the bills, the household chores, Lil Bro's meals, schoolwork, daily needs. Time spent at home is more of a priority now, and harping on Lil Bro to complete his schoolwork has been a daily dose for me.

Being the more 'academically inclined' one among the sibz, I admit I'm totally useless in the household chores department. Which is why I'm never trusted to hold the reign in the kitchen. So to make up for it, I'm continually trying to improve in other aspects. But I'm also trying to be a better 'homemaker'.Like the veteran ones always say, 'Perempuan, sepandai-pandai sekolah pon, tempatnyer kat dapur jugak.' Urgh.

And it got me thinking recently, am I trying to do too much at the same time?

There are days when I just felt like giving up, just felt like throwing all my dreams away. But the only thing that has kept me going was the thought of making my parents proud, of banishing the unkempt opinions of others towards them eversince that one bad incident years back. The thought of making the guilty ones eat their own words has got me pushing myself further. And alhamdulillah, we as a family is slowly holding things up on our end. Like a wheel, there are moments when we are down, and there are moments when we will be up too.

Thus, I'm mustering everything up to get what I want, regardless. Those in the hope that I'll succeed, do pray for me you wonderful people.

And she waves goodbye...

6:37 am