Dan setiap yang hidup akan mati ...

I was getting ready for work when Mum came into the room. I was expecting her to tell me something really bad since she seldom does that. She sat down on my bed, and told me'

'Zurah, be prepared eh. Nenek sekarang bila-bila boleh pergi...'

I stopped what I was doing. I was stunned, I couldn't do or think of anything. Just told Mum to call my office direct should anything happen. I was so distracted at work thinking of what will come, making lots of booboos during those hours. Whenever my direct line rings, my heart will beat so fast it almost dropped. One call came, from Mum, but it wasn't about Grandma, but about my Uncle from Dad's adoptive family. He has passed away! Very sudden, he ran short of breath, and when the medics reached his home, he was frothing at the mouth and nose already ...

Another call from Mum came half an hour later. This time, it was really Grandma ... she's gone.

I excused myself from work, rushed home to change, and we headed to where her body was at Bedok.

Seeing all the people I had not seen for many years there really brought a strange feeling at the pit of my heart. Seeing all my uncles and aunts there tugged something tightly at my soul - my dad is half the globe away and would not get to see his mother on her final journey ... the feeling of empathy for Dad was what made me cry hard when Grandma's body was being cleansed up. All her sons were around her, except Dad. Hearing Mum on the phone with Dad in tears while Grandma's body was beautified, just made me ... I dunno ... it tugs the heart so badly. How I wish I could give some words of comfort to him, but he was saddened beyond control.. in a day, he lost a brother and mother.

It immediately came into my mind that I have to represent my Dad to send Grandma off, but as a girl, there was just so much I can do. How I wish I could be the one to put her safely in her grave, but it was impossible. The only last thing I can do is be the only granddaughter to put flowers on her fresh grave. Dad, this is the least I can do for you ...

And today, my uncle's burial went smoothly, though we had to wait for some time coz there were 2 other jenazahs before him. In the midst of waiting, a relative told us fond stories of Dad during his childhood. How much Lil Brother looked like him, and how mischievous Dad was. That was a consolation for me, and again, I thought of Dad and how he is doing there.

It's been a tough two days, and I'm so tired ...

If you dream that your tooth fell out, don't take it as old folks' superstitous belief behind it. It came true for me. Except that in the dream, I bled so much. This was what it was trying to tell me ...

And she waves goodbye...

8:15 am